Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just google imaged poop.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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