did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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