Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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