You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
