I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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