idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
