Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
