so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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