what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So much rum. So many feels.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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