Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize