Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
