my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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