I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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