well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
