I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Rumble strips road head = magical
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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