He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
