Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
