She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
