you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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