The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
