I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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