1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize