you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
