Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
