i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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