I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
