Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
