I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
In America we eat man semen.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's rum buckets o'clock
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
