did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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