you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize