I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My dick has a subreddit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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