I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
