Where is the hickey?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
