Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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