Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Your penis caused this!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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