Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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