I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
