Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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