imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
