my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
