Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
