im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
