She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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