seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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