What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
