if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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