I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
