I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
