I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
