I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can I color on your dick again?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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