I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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