Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
