Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Houston, we have a blender
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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