new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
